For someone who has no full time job I sure am busy! It is spring in every sense of the word. The rain has finally slowed leaving the rivers flooded, the basements puddled or worse, the air through open windows is damp and warming, the smell of wet is everywhere. The spring cold that I claimed was allergies has proved me fallible. We have had the whole family coughing for days now.
It is currently holy week and there are church events ever few minutes! The Hillel students have taken over our religious house to create a campus wide Seder, meanwhile the Christian students are scrambling to get to the various houses of worship for mass, Maundy Thursday, good Friday and of course Easter. The palms from last Sunday are braided into crosses, the matzoh from Monday is stacked on the shelves, the rooms are triple booked as every religious club on campus hosts a big event. Where did all these hard boiled eggs come from? All the while, in the background, is the slow drum beat of terms impending end and the pre-grieving of seniors having one last party, one last concert, one last festival. Spring is the most conflicted term of the academic year.
Meanwhile, @ job number two, the hospital. The full time chaplain, who is both my colleague and my friend, was taken suddenly and seriously ill last week. She is now out on medical leave for an indefinite amount of time. The rest of the pastoral care staff have asked me to cover for her during her absence. I am conflicted.
I have been trying to figure out how to balance just one day of hospital chaplaincy and care giving mom for months now. How in the world am I going to do this full time for a few weeks, or possibly months?
Job #3, the church has given me room to breathe. As a back up minister for them, the Sr. minister takes over for the holidays. Thank you God, in so many, many ways.
Now for job #4. Mom. She is finding her new church exciting, but she too is struggling. Everything at my house for the holidays is different and nothing seems to make sense. She is growing more anxious as she tries to do more things with outsders (a good thing) and cannot keep a calendar or a clock in her head (a bad thing) not to mention phone numbers, or names of folks. She is trying so hard and is so frightened underneath. I wish it was different. I try to ease things but it is next to impossible to fill a bucket that has no bottom. I pour the information in and it just has no place to land. She remains thirsty in spite of the constant flow. I have hired the home helper to come all week, just to get us through, but what is next? How long will this last? When is the next plateau?
I spin, I spin, I spin. As it is, I am so tired I allowed myself to get run down, resulting in first me then everyone else getting sick.
It is time for me to get set for class as today is a campus day, but I carry the hospital pager "in case". What in the world will I do if it actually goes off during class? I am not the only one that needs a better plan. But I definitely need a better plan
Creator, lead me as I am turning endlessly in circles. Amen
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