Back to Work

The work pressure is on for me as the calendar doesn't care if I have time and as I have already lost two days to this cold. I went back to work today before I was well. I am sorry. I feel doubly bad because the woman I pay to help with mom was just hours past a bout with food poisoning herself. We both were at the Dr. yesterday. Mom's aide had called in sick yesterday, but feeling well enough last night, had come in weak but no longer "ill". My nose had quit running, I still cough though. Dilemma for both of us: No work-no pay. As independent contractors, we don't get sick days. I could not reschedule my meetings, I could not leave mom alone, the aide was sure she was not contagious, the students are going to come plan for the upcoming holidays and there is not a substitute for me, so with the promise of mutual low functioning and safety first,(love that Purell!)we made a pact. Mom's aide would do little besides make sure mom was safe.
I would guard my coughing and go to work. I would just keep the meetings low key and beyond coughing distance. I also promised everyone to return as soon as soon as I could so that we both could get back to bed. It was the best we could do. Mom seemed to be OK with it, so that is what we decided to do.



Honestly,sometimes I feel Mom would have me stay with her 24/7. I cannot. As much as I love my mother, and I really do love her, I also love chaplaincy. I feel alive to be out there, doing what I do. This day was exactly one of those days. By 10 am I was helping Hillel students plan their Seder, it isn't easy juggling the responsibilities of kashrut and academics. I had already joyously accepted the invitations of the GSA students for the Pride dinner,and I was looking forward to having a quick connection with a protestant student that had wanted to talk about her boyfriend when my cell phone went off. I thought it was about mom so I answered without looking. It wasn't.
I unexpectedly was called to another site, a place where I had been singing hymns with mom as a volunteer, to help someone we just barely knew. In between volunteer clergy, they had found themselves in urgent need of a protestant clergyman. I responded to the emergency call, and by 11 I sat with an aged severely ill woman and her family as she, having taken a sudden turn, prepares to die. The Spirit descends and surrounds us all. Silence. Her unique dying process begun, her beloved family gathering from distant homes,together we share prayers, blessings and amazing grace, the mystery of her passage remains, her final days or hours surrounded by the love she built over her lifetime. It is palpable, her legacy the devotion shared,The grace of awareness among her family and caregivers, Hospice at its best, this blessing I witness and hold in gratitude.
I relocate again. It is 12:30. I must return to school. Class is at 1. Discussion is lively, the energy of Spring and new adulthood fill my heart. As I leave after class I realize I missed lunch. I go home at 4 to find my caregiver already gone, relived by my daughter who has come home early from work, herself sick. She has a cold. She is too ill to drive to her own home. She wants to stay here and be taken care of. There goes the rest of "my rest". I cough, finally, relaxing. This is Home. As I reheat last night's chicken soup, find a Popsicle and pour a glass of juice for my adult daughter, Mom says,"Did you get all your stuff done?"

Yes, mother. Yes, today I got all my stuff done. And I am tired. I am taking tomorrow off. We will take the financial hit.

Great creator, Thank you for this amazing life, bless the young and old in their fear and frailty, hold us all as we find our way through, and may we all be ever aware of your constant love and care. May the love we share be constantly returned, and may all of us be surrounded by Compassion when it is our time to die.

Amen