No words. Very tired. (Messy) Said "help". Got some. (Lather) Feeling better. Still silent. (Rinse) Getting perspective. Said "HELP". (Repeat) Some things just need time and attention. Some need action. And some just are.
Resting and being is helpful.
Just tired. Thanks. for the help. For the break. For the moments of clarity. For the time.
I am never this silent at the hairdresser. I dare not say it aloud. The terrifying truth. Only in heart does that spectre burn. Horrifying is my reality. In the middle of the ceremony I forgot the groom's name!
Someday my words will return, unlike mom's. Is it stress? Is it menopause? Is it ... "IT"?
HELP ME GRIMELDA!!!!
Please...let me find my words again. Let this be anything else. Once again that niggling fear. Always there. Like the dull hum of cicadas in summer heat. The distant rumblings of thunder echo on the mountains. The storm may never come here. I still smell the wind, and get prepared.
Rest.
AMEN.
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